theoldguardkinkmeme | Post Prompt #5

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To keep the prompt posts more manageable in size for modding, new prompts should be added in Prompt Post #6.

This post remains open, however, for you to link fills or express your excitement over prompts you would like to see filled.

There are still many, many gorgeous prompts in this post that have not yet been written or drawn. For easier browsing, check out the Pinboard.

Remember:

Any characters, any ship, any trope, any kink are welcome (with the sole exception of sexual scenarios involving human(oid) characters under 14).

Each prompt gets a new comment directly under the post. Don't use threaded comments for new prompts. Only squee, encouragement, and links to fills go in the comments responding to individual prompts.

Prompts should be posted anonymously.

Please use a header with your character(s)/pairing and a keyword or short phrase (For example: "Andy/Quynh, Make-up sex" or "Nicky/Joe/Booker, first time DP").

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From: (Anonymous)

OP, please explain about the squash and the kitchen skewers. I am AGOG.

From:

salazar_quinn

Look, I don't know, I was trying to think of unusual but not outright terrifying things that would definitely have existed back then! XD

I think I assumed there was some masochism thing with the skewers, and he wants to... rub raw squash all over himself at the same time? Or maybe Francisco is just really into, like, stabbing the squash with the skewers and watching the insides sloooowly ooze out the holes, it really gets him going, and is that Satan working inside me, Father Nicolo? Nicky just rubs his temples and is like '...onanism is a venial sin regardless of what you're thinking about... or looking at. Three Hail Marys and Five Our Fathers, give some money to charity,' and tries to forget the incredibly pornographic description of squash innards.

...I'm very upset you made me think about this. :P

From: (Anonymous)

We all agree Nicky's a hottie, right? And even with the unfortunate tonsure and everything, still would've been a hottie?

Imagine people trying to think up things to confess so they can let Father Nicolo know that they've been very bad boys and girls, and he should definitely punish them.

From: (Anonymous)

Oh no, this is...definitely, definitely something a horny Catholic teen would do to poor Father Nicolo.

From: (Anonymous)

As a wise person once said, "forgive me, Father, for I have sinned" and "sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty" technically mean the same thing.

From: (Anonymous)

(OP, now properly anon, whoops.)

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last confession."

Nicky: What sins have you committed, my child?

'I have had impure thoughts about a man of God...'

Nicky: /oh for fuck's sake, not THIS again/

From: (Anonymous)

And then the penitent describes the sinful thoughts in detail, right? Can't lie to God. Father Nicolo needs to know juuuuust how bad they've been.

From:

salazar_quinn

(Just to be really clear, it is in no way expected that the fill involve squash. Like, you can, but overthinking and over-explaining things is What I Do, it is not a sign that I require squash-fucking or allusions thereto.)

From: (Anonymous)

Back to thank you for explaining about the skewered squash and also for, basically, providing the world with a flashfic of Why Father Nicolo Ran Away and Joined the Army. ;^)