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theoldguardkinkmeme) wrote2020-07-22 10:07 am
theoldguardkinkmeme) wrote2020-07-22 10:07 am
Fills Post
This Fills Post is now closed to new fills. New fills should go in Fills Post #2.
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NEW LOCATION of FILL: Needs of the Other 16F/18
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Part 16F
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(Yusuf)
Somewhere outside of Alexandria, 12th century
He should not have said it, but by the time he realized it, it was too late.
“You forbid it?” Nicolo repeated flatly, stopping in his tracks.
Yusuf grimaced. Even the horse stopped next to Nicolo and turned its long head back to glare at Yusuf.
The miller had sought out Nicolo and Yusuf when they returned to the baker’s house to check on them. Yusuf did not like how the miller wanted to talk to Nicolo without Yusuf, his head filled with Izem’s account of Nicolo’s fighting. And he liked it even less when Nicolo, on their way walking back to the house, shared what the miller said.
But perhaps he should have held his tongue when Nicolo said he considered helping to protect the village.
“What I meant...” Yusuf began. He glowered at the mangy beast when it snorted.
Nicolo studied Yusuf and his ire faded. He set down the basket he carried. The baker was entirely too grateful and made them too much bread and meal. Nicolo insisted the horse was already carrying too much and declared he was going to carry this himself. No wonder the lazy beast stared after Nicolo with adoration.
“He said he fears Hedi had set his eyes on the village,” Nicolo said. “Izem confirmed it is what Hedi did before they ransacked the towns. They made the people put their own possessions onto carts to be taken away and then they’re given to his men as...” He sharply turned away, his eyes on the village they left behind.
“I know the miller is concerned,” Yusuf tried. “But both Hedi and his companion are dead.”
“His men will come looking.”
Yusuf’s stomach clenched in agreement. His heart, however, hammered at the memory of Nicolo and his dagger, the spray of blood on his face, his back turned as he checked on Izem rather than the two men. They could have killed Nicolo.
Worse, they could have taken him.
“I do not think so,” Yusuf lied. “We found their horses and set them off to run free. Should his men find them, they would not know where their captain has been.”
“Unless Hedi told his men before he left,” Nicolo argued.
“We do not know he did,” Yusuf returned.
Nicolo stared at Yusuf. “You think we should not help them?”
“I...” Yusuf folded his arms in front of him. He dropped his chin. He sighed.
“We do not know if they need help. This is a small village, a stopping point for those returning from sea and Alexandria has no work for ships yet. There are but few markets selling only what they themselves can not eat. This place does not even have a name! There is nothing here except for peace and tranquillity.”
“Is that not valuable?” Nicolo asked quietly. “Was it not why we chose to stay close to it?”
Yusuf closed his eyes.
“Hobi,” Yusuf breathed, “are you not tired?”
Nicolo could be heard swallowing.
“If you asked me last month, I would have said yes.”
Yusuf’s mouth twisted. “And your answer today would be no?”
“It would still be yes.” Nicolo locked gazes with Yusuf’s surprised eyes, “But it is a weariness of something else.”
Yusuf’s shoulders slumped.
“You are tired of hiding.”
“Then you were aware that was what we were doing.” Nicolo stepped closer to Yusuf. He slipped hands around Yusuf’s elbows.
“I eventually realized I was hiding,” Nicolo murmured. His smile was crooked, humorless. “And that you let me.”
“You needed to rest,” Yusuf said gently. “Do not deny your nights and your heart is far lighter for it.”
Nicolo breathed out slowly. He rested his forehead on Yusuf’s shoulder, his hands on top of Yusuf’s folded arms.
“I will admit,” Nicolo murmured, “the peace I felt since Cairo was welcomed and the stop here to just “be” was what you and I needed.”
Yusuf rested his chin against the side of Nicolo’s head.
“I did not need much rest,” Yusuf said.
Nicolo scoffed. “Then why do you not draw again?”
Yusuf’s lips pressed together. “I will.”
“When? Tomorrow? Next week?”
Yusuf forced out a chuckle. “So impatient, my Nicolo. Did you have a subject in mind?”
Nicolo stepped back, his mouth grim, his jaw clenched. He would not be deterred. A stubborn streak Yusuf was glad to see again, if only it was not at his expense right now.
“You say you would no longer be grieving for me. You say you understand you have no debt with me. Yet your scrolls fade with dust, your pen crusted with old ink, your papers blank of—“
“How I feel is not the same as what I do.” Yusuf tamped down the urge to shout. “I simply do not have the desire to draw right now.”
Nicolo’s expression was carefully blank. “That is all?”
“Of course.” Yusuf patted Nicolo’s shoulders and strode past.
The path back to their house never felt as long as it did now. Yusuf felt Nicolo staring after him, his walk steady despite Yusuf’s insistence to get home before it was dark.
Yusuf’s jaw worked. He stopped in his tracks, too suddenly. Nicolo almost collided into him.
“Why did you attack those men?” Yusuf asked the question that sat in his belly since they left.
“Izem—“
“I know what they were going to do,” Yusuf interrupted. “But why did you attack them alone? And with a dagger?”
Nicolo’s boots scraped the sandy ground underneath him.
“It was all I have with me.”
Yusuf grunted.
“What?”
“You would not need my aid had you taken your sword with you.” Yusuf did not turn around. “But you have not taken your sword or practice with it since we came here.”
Nicolo said nothing.
Yusuf chuckled sadly. “Maybe you need more rest after all?”
“It is not that I do not have a desire to take my sword,” Nicolo said. “But I know what my sword means to others when I have it by my side.”
Yusuf’s brow knitted.
“Fucking Frank,” Nicolo whispered. It was almost lost to the wind.
Yusuf froze.
“It is what they said over and over as they choked me with their cocks.”
“Nicolo,” Yusuf rasped.
“My sword is the weapon of so much destruction, so much waste.” Nicolo sighed. “It is the sharp tool of invasion. Do you not agree, Yusuf al-Kaysani?”
Yusuf’s throat worked. He slowly turned around to face Nicolo. Nicolo gazed back with resigned eyes the color of winter.
“I can conceal my face, do not let them see my eyes, do not speak and I can be among you without notice.”
Nicolo rested a hand on top of the dagger by his hip.
“But if I carry the sword that cut through so many men in front of Antioch, Damascus, Aleppo...”
Nicolo’s hand lowered from his dagger.
“You shared the burden of war,” Yusuf said quietly, “But you did not bore the responsibility.”
Nicolo smiled faintly. “Yes, I know as you have told me before. Our long lives have not yet made my mind feeble.”
“Then why—“
“It is what they see.” Nicolo stared past Yusuf’s right shoulder. “In Cairo, that was all Dirar saw. The others saw a Frank bowed to his knees. Their treatment was...”
“Do not tell me you forgive them,” Yusuf seethed. “There is only so much understanding and kindness they deserve.”
Nicolo shook his head. “No, of course not, I know now I did not deserve how they...but I understand why they were pushed to it.”
Nicolo’s hand drifted back to his hip, only he did not touch the dagger, but let his hand hover above it.
“You think you invited their sadistic treatment because of your sword?” Yusuf’s throat worked.
Nicolo shrugged his shoulders. “Do you see the villagers treat us with fear and trepidation far more than a stranger would? These people have treated us with kindness once they have gotten over their wariness towards us. Do you think it would be the same were I to arrive in the village with my sword?”
Yusuf grimaced. “There is not much you and I can do if Hedi’s men come looking.”
“We have fought off bandits from caravans,” Nicolo reminded him.
“For coin,” Yusuf pointed out. “And with our swords, fighting as one. Do you see your dagger and my scimitar faring the same?”
“We have faced worst. We have died for less.”
“Yes,” Yusuf grated out. “And you and I have come back, but what if when we do, this time, we are separated? What if they take you?” From me, Yusuf was afraid to say.
But Nicolo seemed to have heard him anyway. He swallowed.
“I know it may be the right thing to do,” Yusuf said softly. “But I do not know if my heart can bear it if I come back from death and not see you besides me.”
“It is why you do not draw anymore.”
Yusuf blinked. “What?”
Nicolo’s lips twitched but they did not smile.
“You blame your drawing, your work for what happened to me. That I was out of your sight.” Nicolo shook his head. “That is—“
“How often have you come back with something I have mentioned in passing?” Yusuf said. When Nicolo stilled, he sighed.
“It was eight if you can not recall.” Yusuf’s jaw clenched. “And I did not suspect a thing. I looked up, my eyes at last opened and you were about to...”
Yusuf struck a fist against his own leg.
“This is not supposition, Nicolo,” Yusuf growled. “It is fact. My head down among the pages and I did not see where my thoughtless wishes had led you. Your sword? Your fears are unfounded.”
“Yu—“
Yusuf shook his head hard. He was almost dizzy after.
“I know you want to help them, hobi and I will admit, I have some concern for the village, but to walk into a possible lion’s den and await slaughter and sure death? No, I can not—no, I am sorry, I—“
“You forbid it?” Nicolo finished thinly.
Yusuf blanched. “That is not what I was going to say. I do not own you.”
“Yet you fear losing me.” Nicolo exhaled slowly. His anger seeped away.
“Can we go home?” Yusuf plead. He did not care how he sounded right now. “Please, let us not quarrel here on the dirt road. We talk at home, yea? Under the roof we built together, eating over the table we built together.”
“Home,” Nicolo murmured. He glanced sideways at Yusuf. His shoulders slumped again. He nodded.
“Fine,” Nicolo rasped. “Let us go home.”
Yusuf smiled wanly. He watched Nicolo struggle to lift the heavy basket once more. He wanted to offer to take it as well. His stack of wooden planks was not heavy. But he did not dare offer.
As they walked, for once in a line and not shoulder to shoulder, Yusuf realized with a sinking stomach that he may not be able to keep his Nicolo safe. Nicolo will not let him.
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While it was not an outright fight, I found this very hard to write, but sadly, it was long overdue for both of them.
Chapter 17A, Nicolo tomorrow!
Re: NEW LOCATION of FILL: Needs of the Other 16F/18
(Anonymous) 2020-11-06 05:13 am (UTC)(link)Re: NEW LOCATION of FILL: Needs of the Other 16F/18
Re: NEW LOCATION of FILL: Needs of the Other 16F/18
(Anonymous) 2020-11-06 12:15 pm (UTC)(link)Re: NEW LOCATION of FILL: Needs of the Other 16F/18
Re: NEW LOCATION of FILL: Needs of the Other 16F/18
(Anonymous) 2020-11-07 04:54 am (UTC)(link)oooh slightly bitter cake makes the sweet better