Five Times Joe Kissed Someone Who Wasn’t Nicky (and one time he kissed Nicky)
1. “Guy on your two o’clock – I think he’s made you,” Nile said, into her headpiece. She was spotting for Nicky because they needed people on the ground who spoke French with something better than her (Joe had said it kindly) very obviously American accent.
“Copy,” murmured Andy. “We’re on it.”
Nile was so surprised when Joe swung Andy up against the wall that she almost dropped her binoculars. Things she had been expecting to see: their target. Civilians. Stray cats.
Things she had not been expecting to see: Joe and Andy making out.
“What the hell?” she said, quietly, because she knew better than to startle a sniper. There was no response from Nicky; she risked a quick glance over to see that his breathing was steady, but the corners of his eyes were crinkled like he was watching something hilarious.
“Good cover,” he said. “He’s moving on.”
“Was it really necessary for you to grope Joe’s ass like that, Andy?” Nile asked pointedly. Joe and Andy had broken apart, looking for all the world like they were catching their breath. “Twenty metres away. Thirty. Go.”
“Look, what can I say,” Andy said. “It’s been a while.”
“I’ll allow it,” Nicky said, benevolently generous with his husband’s body.
“Just so we’re clear, nobody’s allowed to do that to me without prior permission,” said Nile. “Ten metres.”
“I would never, my word on it,” said Joe, and then it was all on.
2. “Good morning,” Joe said as he came into the kitchen, half-singing it. He bent over behind Nile and pressed a kiss to her forehead, at the edge of her scarf; they were having a lazy morning and she hadn’t taken it off yet. “Have you eaten yet?”
“No, but there’s coffee,” Nile said. She felt quite proud of herself for having used the French press successfully. There’d been an unfortunate boiling water fountain incident the first time.
“Nicky’s going to make shakshouka,” Joe assured her, swinging into one of the other chairs and stealing half of the newspaper Nile was trying slowly to make her way through. It was in Turkish, so it was involving a lot of pencil notes and looking things up on her phone, but she’d almost got the gist of the headline article.
“Am I?” Nicky said, wandering in; he was as happy as Joe but in an entirely different way, a quiet satisfied stroll that reminded Nile of a big cat.
Andy slunk in after him. “Yes, because if you’re both going to be this disgustingly freshly laid in the morning, you have to make it up to me and Nile somehow. It’s the rules.”
“There’s coffee, Andy,” Nile said, and was rewarded with a firm squeeze of both shoulders as Andy went past. Nicky was already pulling a frying pan out of the cupboard, humming.
“I knew we found you for a reason,” Andy said to Nile fondly, as she poured her coffee.
3. After all the shouting and the crying and the blood – the crying was what Nile had found the most upsetting – Joe was the first person to go up to Quỳnh, after Andy finally let her go. He said a word that Nile didn’t understand, but thought might be in Vietnamese, and kissed her on the side of her mouth. Quỳnh’s eyes were welling up, too.
“It means older sister,” Nicky murmured to Nile. Joe had folded Quỳnh in one of his patented big Joe hugs now, and Nicky left Nile’s side to go towards them.
“Fuck,” Nile said, and wiped a hand across her own eyes; they had her going now too.
4. When Booker came back to them, he and Nicky nodded to each other tensely – Nile knew by now what it looked like when Nicky was mad with you, and he was still mad with Booker – but he and Joe circled each other like cats who hadn’t been introduced for a good two hours, before suddenly some invisible signal was given and they were doing the full-on European hug-and-two-kisses thing, while Nicky sighed very deeply and shook his head.
“You know what this means?” Andy asked Nile. “Now it’s gonna be two of them arguing for putting on the football.”
5. “Fuck,” Andy said in Nile’s earpiece. “Reynolds is coming back; she saw me last week. Joe?”
“I got it,” Joe said. Nile leaned back against the bar, pretending to sip her cocktail, and saw him introduce himself to Reynolds; very few people were defenseless against Joe at his most charming.
“Now she’s seen Joe,” Nile pointed out.
“We’re going to be on a different continent in twenty-four hours,” said Quỳnh. “That’s fine. We just need her not to put the pieces together about Andy.”
Across the room, Joe was kissing Reynolds’ hand. She actually giggled.
“I can’t believe that fucking works,” Booker said through their earpieces.
“My husband is of course the most charming man on Earth,” said Nicky, because, Nile guessed, it was really easy to be secure in your relationship when you had a sniper rifle pointed at the woman your husband was flirting with.
Booker said something very rude in French – Nile couldn’t translate it exactly, but the attitude made it across.
“Focus, everybody,” said Andy, but Nile didn’t need to see her to know she was smiling.
6. For all that they were the most happily married couple on Earth and Andy bewailed their tendency to obviously enjoying morning sex – although a lot less since Quỳnh had come back, Nile noticed – Joe and Nicky weren’t big on PDAs. They didn’t necessarily sit next to each other, often acknowledged each other with a smile or a nod or a brief touch, and Nile could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she’d seen them kiss.
This time, though, Joe had crawled out of the ruins of a collapsed building with his entire left side drenched in dark arterial blood, and – the immediate danger having passed, and nobody else having been in the building – Nicky had promptly grabbed him and kissed him like they were filming the climactic scene in a romance movie, bent over backwards a little and everything.
“Oh, hey,” said Andy. “I guess he was under there a while.”
“If it was me I’d do it every time,” said Nile. “Why waste a moment?”
“Aw, Nile.” Andy winked. “You’re welcome anytime, if you’re feeling the lack of romance.”
“Uh,” Nile said, and felt herself start to blush; Quỳnh cackled, and she blushed even harder. She'd be glad they couldn't see it, but she was pretty sure they knew anyway.
Over the way, Joe and Nicky had finally broken their clinch, and were staring into each other’s eyes. That Nile had seen before.
Andy slung an arm around Nile’s shoulders. “C’mon,” she said. “Let’s go find Booker before he panics.”
“Count me in as well,” Quỳnh said, putting her arm around Nile from the other side. “If you’re ever feeling left out.”
FILL: Joe/Nicky + team, different types of kisses
Five Times Joe Kissed Someone Who Wasn’t Nicky (and one time he kissed Nicky)
1. “Guy on your two o’clock – I think he’s made you,” Nile said, into her headpiece. She was spotting for Nicky because they needed people on the ground who spoke French with something better than her (Joe had said it kindly) very obviously American accent.
“Copy,” murmured Andy. “We’re on it.”
Nile was so surprised when Joe swung Andy up against the wall that she almost dropped her binoculars. Things she had been expecting to see: their target. Civilians. Stray cats.
Things she had not been expecting to see: Joe and Andy making out.
“What the hell?” she said, quietly, because she knew better than to startle a sniper. There was no response from Nicky; she risked a quick glance over to see that his breathing was steady, but the corners of his eyes were crinkled like he was watching something hilarious.
“Good cover,” he said. “He’s moving on.”
“Was it really necessary for you to grope Joe’s ass like that, Andy?” Nile asked pointedly. Joe and Andy had broken apart, looking for all the world like they were catching their breath. “Twenty metres away. Thirty. Go.”
“Look, what can I say,” Andy said. “It’s been a while.”
“I’ll allow it,” Nicky said, benevolently generous with his husband’s body.
“Just so we’re clear, nobody’s allowed to do that to me without prior permission,” said Nile. “Ten metres.”
“I would never, my word on it,” said Joe, and then it was all on.
2. “Good morning,” Joe said as he came into the kitchen, half-singing it. He bent over behind Nile and pressed a kiss to her forehead, at the edge of her scarf; they were having a lazy morning and she hadn’t taken it off yet. “Have you eaten yet?”
“No, but there’s coffee,” Nile said. She felt quite proud of herself for having used the French press successfully. There’d been an unfortunate boiling water fountain incident the first time.
“Nicky’s going to make shakshouka,” Joe assured her, swinging into one of the other chairs and stealing half of the newspaper Nile was trying slowly to make her way through. It was in Turkish, so it was involving a lot of pencil notes and looking things up on her phone, but she’d almost got the gist of the headline article.
“Am I?” Nicky said, wandering in; he was as happy as Joe but in an entirely different way, a quiet satisfied stroll that reminded Nile of a big cat.
Andy slunk in after him. “Yes, because if you’re both going to be this disgustingly freshly laid in the morning, you have to make it up to me and Nile somehow. It’s the rules.”
“There’s coffee, Andy,” Nile said, and was rewarded with a firm squeeze of both shoulders as Andy went past. Nicky was already pulling a frying pan out of the cupboard, humming.
“I knew we found you for a reason,” Andy said to Nile fondly, as she poured her coffee.
3. After all the shouting and the crying and the blood – the crying was what Nile had found the most upsetting – Joe was the first person to go up to Quỳnh, after Andy finally let her go. He said a word that Nile didn’t understand, but thought might be in Vietnamese, and kissed her on the side of her mouth. Quỳnh’s eyes were welling up, too.
“It means older sister,” Nicky murmured to Nile. Joe had folded Quỳnh in one of his patented big Joe hugs now, and Nicky left Nile’s side to go towards them.
“Fuck,” Nile said, and wiped a hand across her own eyes; they had her going now too.
4. When Booker came back to them, he and Nicky nodded to each other tensely – Nile knew by now what it looked like when Nicky was mad with you, and he was still mad with Booker – but he and Joe circled each other like cats who hadn’t been introduced for a good two hours, before suddenly some invisible signal was given and they were doing the full-on European hug-and-two-kisses thing, while Nicky sighed very deeply and shook his head.
“You know what this means?” Andy asked Nile. “Now it’s gonna be two of them arguing for putting on the football.”
5. “Fuck,” Andy said in Nile’s earpiece. “Reynolds is coming back; she saw me last week. Joe?”
“I got it,” Joe said. Nile leaned back against the bar, pretending to sip her cocktail, and saw him introduce himself to Reynolds; very few people were defenseless against Joe at his most charming.
“Now she’s seen Joe,” Nile pointed out.
“We’re going to be on a different continent in twenty-four hours,” said Quỳnh.
“That’s fine. We just need her not to put the pieces together about Andy.”
Across the room, Joe was kissing Reynolds’ hand. She actually giggled.
“I can’t believe that fucking works,” Booker said through their earpieces.
“My husband is of course the most charming man on Earth,” said Nicky, because, Nile guessed, it was really easy to be secure in your relationship when you had a sniper rifle pointed at the woman your husband was flirting with.
Booker said something very rude in French – Nile couldn’t translate it exactly, but the attitude made it across.
“Focus, everybody,” said Andy, but Nile didn’t need to see her to know she was smiling.
6. For all that they were the most happily married couple on Earth and Andy bewailed their tendency to obviously enjoying morning sex – although a lot less since Quỳnh had come back, Nile noticed – Joe and Nicky weren’t big on PDAs. They didn’t necessarily sit next to each other, often acknowledged each other with a smile or a nod or a brief touch, and Nile could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times she’d seen them kiss.
This time, though, Joe had crawled out of the ruins of a collapsed building with his entire left side drenched in dark arterial blood, and – the immediate danger having passed, and nobody else having been in the building – Nicky had promptly grabbed him and kissed him like they were filming the climactic scene in a romance movie, bent over backwards a little and everything.
“Oh, hey,” said Andy. “I guess he was under there a while.”
“If it was me I’d do it every time,” said Nile. “Why waste a moment?”
“Aw, Nile.” Andy winked. “You’re welcome anytime, if you’re feeling the lack of romance.”
“Uh,” Nile said, and felt herself start to blush; Quỳnh cackled, and she blushed even harder. She'd be glad they couldn't see it, but she was pretty sure they knew anyway.
Over the way, Joe and Nicky had finally broken their clinch, and were staring into each other’s eyes. That Nile had seen before.
Andy slung an arm around Nile’s shoulders. “C’mon,” she said. “Let’s go find Booker before he panics.”
“Count me in as well,” Quỳnh said, putting her arm around Nile from the other side. “If you’re ever feeling left out.”
“Well, I’ll think about it,” Nile said, grinning.