theoldguardkinkmeme | Fills Post #2

Fills Post #2

This is where your fills go!

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Start a new comment for each fill. Don't use threaded comments for new fills. Threaded comments are for fills that take up more than one comment field, or for feedback/squee/praise.

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Please use a header with your character(s)/pairing and a title and/or keyword or short phrase. (For example: "Just you and me: Andy/Quynh, Make-up sex" or "Between a Rock and A Hard Place: Nicky/Joe/Booker, first time DP").

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

More ASMR goodness below...

Joe was taken aback at how quickly Nicky seemed to take off his shirt. One big motion, all arms and elbows, and it was off. The vast expanse of chest and shoulders and stomach stunned Joe into silence.

“Everything look okay?” Nicky asked. Joe knew he was talking about the framing of the shot but still...

“Yeah just a second,” Joe swallowed, willing himself to focus on the camera again.

He adjusted accordingly and made sure both cameras were rolling. One was set up to capture Nicky’s torso from behind, the other pointed from the opposite angle, to capture all the minute expressions of relaxation on Nicky’s face. Nicky sat on a stool purloined from the kitchen so the audience could get an unencumbered view of his broad back.

Joe slotted himself between Nicky and the camera that was pointed at his face. He hadn’t really thought this through - he would be face to face with Nicky the whole video, he realized. Usually he stood behind him.

“Okay?” Joe asked, more to stall than anything. Nicky nodded, rolling back his shoulders and adjusting his posture slightly.

“Okay,” Joe took a deep breath and put his warm hands on Nicky’s shoulder, steadying himself. He looked past him at the camera pointed at his back.

“Welcome back everyone,” He whispered. “Nicky’s here with me again and we wanted to shout out Quynh for giving us today’s video idea.” He started petting Nicky’s shoulders lightly, his fingers lingered at Nicky’s neck.

“Today, I’m going to be doing a little tracing on Nicky’s back,” Joe said. He removed his hands from Nicky’s shoulders and wrapped his arms around his middle, tracing one long line up Nicky’s spine. Nicky shivered intensely.

“Good?”

Nicky nodded, his eyes closing as Joe traced the line back down.

“There may even be a secret message,” Joe whispered. He and Nicky had agreed that Joe would trace “Sweet dreams” over and over on his back, try for some positive subliminal messaging.

Joe’s fingertips ghosted along Nicky’s lower back in small circles and Nicky let out a soft sigh. His posture changed again, the tension he was holding there easing out. Joe smiled and started whispering about tension and backs and the usual sweet nonsense he always came up with when Nicky was in his hands.

He moved up Nicky’s back. His fingers spread out, splaying across the back of Nicky’s ribcage. He felt it expand and contract as Nicky took a deep breath. Joe ran his finger across the outline of each bone, tracing each one carefully from the middle of his back across his side to the front where they framed his stomach. Joe whispered about how strong they needed to be, to protect such a big heart.

Nicky smiled again, but this one seamed heavier somehow, the corners of his lips seemed to strain with the effort. A crease formed between his eyes.

Joe abandoned Nicky’s back and brought his hands up to his face. He traced across Nicky’s brow and around Nicky’s lips until any tension that lingered there melted away.

As he returned to drawing invisible lines up and down Nicky’s spine, Joe wondered if this angle was better or worse for him personally. He was happy to be on this side of Nicky, so close he could feel each warm exhale of breath as Nicky leaned into his touch. But he was so close that he found himself getting lost in each twitch, each tingle. It was driving Joe to distraction.

As Joe’s movements slowed, Nicky opened his eyes, sensing something in the air had changed. He regarded Joe’s slight frown of concentration.

Nicky lifted his hands and placed them lightly on Joe’s hips. It was Joe’s turn to release a shuddering breath. Nicky pulled him ever so slightly closer and, with his hands still searing into Joe’s body through his shirt, Nicky used his elbows to nudge Joe back into motion. Joe smiled down at him.

Joe went back to tracing small circles between Nicky’s shoulder blades and Nicky settled back, his eyes closing. Though he didn’t remove his hands from Joe, they slackened, resting in the divots of Joe’s hips as if they were made to rest there, as if they had been carved out of the same piece of marble.

“Okay,” Joe whispered. “Get ready for the secret message.” And he started to trace sweet dreams across Nicky’s shoulders. Over and over again. He watched as wave after wave of shivers rolled through Nicky’s body.

Nicky rolled his shoulders as his skin became covered in goosebumps, his whole back a constellation. Joe chased after them, tracing patterns across the now over-sensitive skin. He felt drunk on the sensation as each circle and each scrape across a new plane of skin created more and more waves.

Nicky’s breath hitched in his throat and Joe snapped back to reality.

“Getting the message?” Joe asked with a smile, slowing slightly.

Nicky’s hands clenched minutely at Joe’s hips and Joe moved in even closer. He was bracketed by Nicky’s thighs, his clothed chest almost brushing against Nicky’s skin.

“Loud and clear,” Nicky replied in a shaking whisper.

They continued for a while, Joe oscillating between sweet dreams, take care, and I love you. Nicky’s smile turned softer and softer, as he was lulled into his most relaxed state.

Eventually Joe looked at the clock, had it really been an hour since they started? The more videos they made, the more relaxing Joe found it. Once they’d settled on a rhythm, Joe found he could very easily lose time caressing Nicky, admiring him with his fingertips until Nicky was totally at ease.

But the camera only had so much battery.

He figured Nicky would want to add his usual “Sogni d’oro” to the end of the video, so Joe determined to bring him carefully back down to earth from whatever blissful state he’d achieved.

With the nail of his index finger, Joe slowly swept one long line up along Nicky’s spine, from his lower back up between his ribs and shoulders all the way to the base of his skull. Nicky gasped, arching his whole torso into Joe.

Joe froze. His brain worked overtime to accommodate the abundance of new sensation. Nicky’s trembling breath, his hands now tightly gripping Joe’s sides, his chest heaving against Joe’s, two hard nipples felt like they were spearing him through.

“Sorry,” Nicky whispered with a bashful smile as he leaned back, releasing Joe and clasping his hands in front of himself.

“It’s fine,” Joe reassured him. He didn’t say that he found Nicky’s sensitivity both endearing and searingly beautiful. He didn’t say that he wanted to make Nicky make that sound again and again. Instead, he steadied himself and gingerly put his hands back on the top of Nicky’s shoulders, making soothing circles there.

Nicky, as always, relaxed at Joe’s touch. His hands loosened to lay in his lap and his breathing evened out as Joe’s thumbs began to soothe up and down Nicky’s neck.

Joe matched his breathing and the air in the room seemed to soften. Nicky’s eyes closed again as Joe’s fingers found his cheekbone, his chin, the bridge of his nose. Joe gazed down at his open face.

His heart clenched as he remembered Andy’s words. He will let himself get hurt...

Suddenly, Nicky’s hands were on his hips again, pulling Joe closer. Joe smiled and looked down at the hair’s breadth between them. If Nicky were to breathe deeply the peaks of those rosy nipples, dusted loosely around with soft hair, would brush against Joe again. The idea made him dizzy.

Nicky’s tongue swept across his plush lower lip. “Thank you Joe,” he sighed, his eyes still closed.

Joe’s throat felt tight with affection. He didn’t know what to say. In this position, between Nicky’s thighs, so much bare skin at his fingertips, his hands cradling Nicky’s head, Joe could almost imagine leaning down and catching that lip between his teeth, licking into that soft, pliant mouth.

Joe’s mind was stuck on this image as his hands moved freely across Nicky’s face. By now, they simply moved of their own accord, exploring Nicky like he was precious, touching him like he was a lover, resting there like he was home.

His fingers smoothed across Nicky’s forehead, where a soft lock of hair had fallen. Joe brushed it away tenderly, carding through Nicky’s hair, fingers gently scraping across Nicky’s scalp.

Nicky yelped, or moaned, the noise was so loud Joe couldn’t tell. His eyes flew open as he forcefully pushed Joe away. Joe stumbled back. The audio equipment shorted out at the sudden outburst, flashing red throughout the small room.

Nicky clasped both hands to his mouth and stared at Joe, his chest heaving, panic in his eyes.

Joe held his breath. Red light blinked silently around them.

Nicky glanced nervously around the room. He looked trapped, vulnerable, Joe desperately wanted to cover him up, turn on the lights, hold him close, but he didn’t dare move.

“Nicky?” He said slowly in a low voice, whispers gone.

Nicky choked out something along the lines of “‘m so sorry,” and he darted towards the door, brushing past Joe and practically sprinting out of the apartment.

Joe was left standing there, dumbstruck, until he heard Nicky’s front door slam.

Joe picked up the sweater he’d left behind and hugged it to his chest. What the fuck have I done?

Ah! A little angst with our ASMR? As a treat? Don't worry, I promise a happy ending! Thanks so much for your comments and more soon!

YES YES YES YES YES

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH. WE LOVE TO SEE THE ANGST.

This is so good...!!! Thank you for writing this prompt!

Joe peeled the fruit and handed Nicky the segments one by one
yes good

Omgggg of course Nicky would have a list ready to go for Joe!

The intimacy they performed for the camera seemed to seep easily into their daily lives, like ink into water.
I am 10000% here for the quality intimacy content.

Quynh announced as she presented Joe like a winning prize in a flurry of arms.
bahahaha I am sure this is because she and Andy ready to rib the hell out of him. I love that Quỳnh is plotting how Joe and Nicky can dominate the ASMR charts too. XD

“He’s…” Joe considered his words, “a great neighbor.”
I think you meant “husband material” Joe. XD

They continued for a while, Joe oscillating between sweet dreams, take care, and I love you.
OMG

By now, they simply moved of their own accord, exploring Nicky like he was precious, touching him like he was a lover, resting there like he was home.
*fangirl scream*

Ok so I was curious why Nicky’s hair was a no-go, but ahhhhhhh!!!!

Anyways so excited for an update! I’ve already re-read the previous parts a couple of times. This is amazing (not even an ASMR person), and I love this.

Also wow! Welcome back to writing! If you continue writing, would totally love to read it! And if you post this to ao3, I’d love to bookmark this there too.

There's more!! 👀👀👀 Yes to the angst! Excited for the comfort and more soft moments

Oh no!! Poor Nicky. I am so incredibly invested in this.

Again, these comments have been so extraordinarily lovely and detailed and encouraging, thank you so much! It means a lot. Three more angsty parts this evening for you!

A day, two days, a week, two weeks, a month passed and Joe hadn’t heard anything from Nicky. His apartment was conspicuously quiet. Joe thought even his door was closing more quietly than usual. Joe texted him but immediately regretted it. How can he apologize by text? Is he a teenager?

He tried to keep calm and ignore the constant gnawing in his chest. Nicky could take all the time he needed, he thought to himself even as part of him panicked at the thought of never seeing him again.

So Joe tried to distract himself with work. More videos, more freelance illustration. But it seemed hollow somehow, his heart wasn’t in it.

His followers noticed immediately, leaving encouraging comments: If you need some time off, take it! We love you! and Does he seem extra tired? and I miss Nicky!

Same, he thought as he published another video of himself quietly tapping and toying with blue paints and inks and pencil crayons.

Eventually, he worked up the nerve to message Quynh on her social media. Andy, of course, didn’t have any online presence to speak of but Quynh’s was public and full of aesthetically pleasing pictures of her, of her and Andy, of what must be their elegant black cat. He messaged her, asking if Nicky was okay.

She responded with a shrugging emoji and a heart.

At least he’s alive, Joe thought bitterly.

But it didn’t help him sleep better at night. It didn’t stop him from watching the videos he’d made with Nicky over and over again. It didn’t stop his heart from aching at every small sound from next door, every time the water turned on, every time a chair scraped against the floor. It didn’t stop him from curling up at night, his face stuffed into Nicky’s sweater, inhaling that woody, herbal scent and feeling the push and pull of comfort and longing in his chest.

“Give him some time,” Nile said patiently, as she paid for their coffees. Joe had been getting out of the apartment more, insisting Nile meet him at local coffee shops. It just felt wrong to be there, to be working, without Nicky by his side.

“How much time?” Joe asked. He took the coffee gratefully and held it with both his hands. It was getting well and truly cold out.

Nile looked thoughtfully at him.

“You’ve really fallen for him haven’t you?” She asked quietly.

Joe felt himself get hot. He had, of course he had, but he didn’t like how obvious it was to Nile. Especially when Nicky wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence, let alone allow him to apologize.

“I really fucked up Nile,” Joe said, taking a sip of his coffee and staring out into the street where the leaves were falling.

“Yeah,” Nile agreed. “Give him time.”

Booker, on the other hand, was Team Grand Gesture. Even if it was a quixotic bandaid on a chasm, Joe liked the idea of doing something, anything, anything other than waiting for Nicky to text him back or hovering outside his door as he came back with groceries, hoping to run into Nicky coming or going.

No, Booker was right, showing up at his door with a meal in his hands and a mea culpa on his lips was just stupid enough to work.

“You sure you don’t want me to come over and help?” Booker asked over the speakerphone as Joe finished scribbling down the instructions for the overly complicated French dish.

“I’m sure,” Joe nodded, excited at the prospect of action, despite being terrified by the precise times and exact measurements.

“Alright, well call me if you need help and don’t burn the onions!”

“What do I look like, a guy who burns onions?” Joe asked with a grin.

That was, in fact, exactly what he looked like.

Three hours, five onions, four pots, three scorched tea towels, two nervous breakdowns, and one sliced open palm later, Joe found himself in a smoky kitchen, holding his bloody hand as the fire alarm wailed angrily at him.

“Oh come on,” he groaned as the noise seemed to get progressively louder and more shrill.

The alarm blared as he grabbed one of the singed tea towels with his uninjured hand and tried waving the smoke away.

The alarm only seemed to get faster and louder, encouraged by his feeble attempts to stop it.

Joe felt on the edge of tears, the urge to sink down onto the floor and stay there forever threatened to overwhelm him.

Then, the door to his apartment burst open and there, of course, was Nicky.

They froze there a moment, staring at each other. Nicky took the scene in, the alarm, the smoke, the bloody hand. In a flash he was in the kitchen. He turned off the burner, tossed the pan in the sink, and grabbed the step ladder from where it always hid in the cupboard. He climbed to the top and stretched his long arm up to the ceiling to disable the alarm.

The sudden silence was deafening. Joe felt like crying again.

Nicky didn’t seem deterred, though. He went to the balcony door and slid it open all the way, letting in a fresh burst of air. The soft patter of rain replaced the silence and Joe exhaled.

Nicky crossed back to him. “Can I see?”

Joe held out his hand limply and Nicky examined it with his cold, assured fingers.

“You don’t need stitches,” Nicky said authoritatively. “Come on.” He circled his fingers around Joe’s wrist and gently led him through the apartment to the bathroom.

After rinsing Joe’s hand under the cold water, Nicky shut the toilet lid with a dull thunk, pointed and said, “Sit.”

Joe did as he was told, eager to follow a direction that didn’t include the words slice, sautee, or julienne. He watched in a daze as Nicky rummaged through his bathroom cabinet for the first aid kit that Nile had bought him years ago when he first moved in.

Nicky opened it up on the counter and fished out some antiseptic, cotton wool, ointment and gauze. Joe watched as Nicky set up a small work station on the counter, washed his hands, and then knelt down.

Once on his knees, he reached for Joe’s hand again, which Joe was cradling against his chest.

Joe’s haze lifted. Nicky was here, in his apartment. After a month. He’d just shown up like magic, like a miracle.

“Nicky…” Joe started, his voice thick.

“This might sting a bit.” Nicky refused to meet his eyes.

Indeed, Joe hissed as Nicky ran the antiseptic along the cut.

“Sorry,” Nicky said as he threw the cotton wool into the garbage and grabbed the ointment.

He continued to work in silence, head down as he carefully swiped ointment along Joe’s palm, his touch so gentle Joe almost didn’t feel it.

Joe wanted to scream. Here was Nicky, treating him so carefully, so tenderly after Joe had clearly crossed a line. All Joe wanted to do was apologize and make it up to him but Nicky had been a ghost. And now here he was, taking care of Joe? Joe should be the one on his knees, begging forgiveness, offering a thousand open palms.

He wanted Nicky to be mad at him, he wanted Nicky to forgive him, Joe just wanted Nicky to look at him.

Nicky grabbed the gauze and started wrapping, taking his time, slowing as the wound was fully covered. He held Joe’s hand in his as he leaned back on his heels and finally, finally looked up at him.

Joe’s words evaded him. Was it possible that Nicky’s eyes had gotten even more startling in the past month?

“Joe,” Nicky started. Joe could tell he was trying so hard to stay calm, keep his voice steady. “I’m so so sorry.”

Joe frowned. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Joe, I-”

But Joe didn’t let him finish. “No, I’m sorry. Why are you sorry? I’m the one who’s going to apologize.”

They paused for a moment. And then, in perfect unison, dissolved into soft laughter at the ridiculousness of the whole scene. Nicky shook his head as he exhaled small huffs. He sat down properly and leaned against the bathroom wall.

“Can I go first?” Joe asked sheepishly.

Nicky nodded.

“I am so sorry about that video Nicky. You had one limit and I crossed it and that is not okay. I was distracted and I wasn’t thinking but those aren’t excuses. I should’ve done better. I’m sorry that I violated your trust.”

Nicky stared at him, an unreadable look on his face.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, right away, or at all, but I just need you to know how much I regret what I did.” Joe’s words, the ones he’d thought about night after night, seemed to deflate in the air around them.

“Oh Joe,” Nicky said, his eyes soft and sad. “Of course I forgive you. You can’t doubt that.”

Joe looked at him in disbelief. “I do! I do doubt that. Nicky, I fucked up in a big way and you haven’t so much as texted me in a month.” Joe’s voice rasped, the loneliness of the past month hitting him all at once. With Nicky here in front of him, he couldn’t ignore just how much his absence weighed heavy on his heart.

Nicky took a deep breath.

“My turn?” He asked. Joe nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry for being so distant,” He began. “And I’m sorry for ruining that video, and I’m sorry for putting you in that position when I knew I couldn't handle myself. It was selfish of me. And you’ve been so kind to me, too kind.”

Joe opened his mouth to speak, to refute, but he shut it again, sensing Nicky had more to say.

“I owe you an explanation.” Nicky continued. “It’s the least I owe you.”

Nicky had grown pale. His shoulders hunched up, and his eyes were distant. Joe reached out, taking Nicky’s hand in his bandaged one.

“You don’t have to,” Joe whispered.

Nicky shot him a pained smile, brushing a thumb over Joe’s knuckles. “I want to.”

Joe nodded.

“I’ve actually always loved when people played with my hair, ever since I was small,” Nicky began. “I guess my scalp is very sensitive.” He shrugged. “But, when I was eighteen, when I was really discovering who I was, I started dating an older man.” Nicky swallowed. “Married.”

Joe held his breath. It was the first time Nicky had ever talked about a past relationship. Nicky looked so incredibly raw and exposed Joe wanted to cover him up again but instead he stayed utterly silent, holding Nicky’s hand loosely.

“He… he treated me like shit to be honest,” Nicky said a bitter laugh in his throat. “But I was young and I thought it was love.” He met Joe’s eyes for a moment then glanced back down to their hands. “But he was married and he didn’t care about me. I was just so desperate for any scrap of affection. I was so willing to ignore other’s feelings, my own dignity. And I knew what I was doing was wrong and hurtful but every time I tried to leave …” Nicky took a deep breath.

“Every time I tried to leave, I let him reel me back. It always ended with him …” He paused again. “With him fucking me in some cheap hotel room and leaving. But the one thing he always did, the one thing I always asked him to do, was pull my hair.” Nicky took a deep, shuddering breath.

The pieces started clicking into place. Joe wanted to be sick.

“It took a long time, after I finally broke it off with him, to even look at myself in the mirror again.” Nicky steadied himself. “I promised myself I would never let myself become so careless, so desperate ever again. And I was doing fine, good even. I managed to live my life without hurting anyone, without letting anyone get close enough to hurt me. And then I met you.”

Nicky brought his other hand up and Joe immediately reached for it. It was freezing, as if all the blood in Nicky’s body had gone directly to his heart. Joe brought Nicky’s palm to his face, which was hot with new understanding.

Nicky let out a choked noise as he looked at Joe, his eyes burning.

“I met you and for some reason you offered me all this attention and affection and it was…” Nicky looked around as if the words would materialize in front of him. “It was like the sun had emerged from the clouds.”

Nicky’s thumb stroked along Joe’s cheekbone, so softly, as if Joe was made of glass.

“And I thought, as long as I had some barrier, some rules, I could hide that side of me. As long as you didn’t see the desperate, needy monster I am, it would be okay.” Nicky said, his voice thick.

Joe clamped his mouth shut, the muscle in his jaw jumping wildly under Nicky’s fingers. He so wanted to interrupt but he knew Nicky also needed the catharsis of revelation, he needed Joe to see him in this moment and Joe would never deny him that.

“But as usual, I fucked everything up. I let myself get more and more attached to you. I thought I could keep what we had going without ever having to reveal what I am to you. But it didn’t work. And then I ghosted you because I was too much of a coward to deal with it. I was afraid if you knew how much I was willing to debase myself for the merest crumb of affection you wouldn’t be able to look at me anymore, let alone touch me,” Nicky exhaled shakily.

Joe noticed then that Nicky was trembling, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Joe readjusted himself so he was kneeling between Nicky’s knees on the floor. He dropped Nicky’s hands and took hold of his shoulders firmly.

“It’s okay to want things, Nicky. Fuck that guy for making you feel like you don’t deserve love or affection,” Joe said, trying to maintain some semblance of calm in his voice. “And fuck him for using your body against you.”

Joe’s hands travelled up to Nicky’s face and he let out a muffled sob, his face contorting painfully.

“You are so worthy, Nicky. From the moment I met you I wanted to be closer to you. Every moment I spend with you makes that want grow deeper and deeper.” Joe found he was whispering now, close to Nicky’s ear. “You are so important to me.”

And then Nicky was crying, great big tears tracking their way down his face. The sobs seemed to be wrenched from his body and all Joe could do was hold him, rub his back. Nicky clutched onto him like he was driftwood in an ocean, the only hope for salvation.

Joe held him back tightly, he wanted to shush him, soothe him but he sensed that Nicky needed this, he needed someone to listen to his pain.

Joe could do that, he thought, he would let Nicky cry forever if he needed to.

After what seemed like forever, Nicky looked up at Joe, his eyes bright, the green-blue contrasted with the now bright red rims. “Why are you so good to me?” He asked, his voice so small it made Joe’s chest ache.

“Because you deserve it,” Joe answered instantly. “Because I care about you, so much.”

Nicky’s chin trembled, he looked away from Joe as if it was painful for him just to see the adoration there. He wept, silently this time, and Joe leaned in to wipe the tears away. He followed each brush of his thumb with his lips, placing reverent, chaste kisses on each of Nicky’s tear-stained cheeks.

Nicky looked up at him, a question in his eyes.

Joe smiled tenderly down, an answer on his lips.

Nicky surged up to kiss Joe, soft and wet. And Joe reciprocated gently. They stayed there for a moment, then Nicky leaned back. A shy smile reflected in each of their faces. Joe ran his hands up and down Nicky’s arms, soothing any nervousness that buzzed through him.

Joe got up suddenly and grabbed Nicky a glass of water from the sink. Nicky drank it down gratefully.

“I should…” Nicky said finally, moving to get up. Once standing they realized just how cramped the bathroom was.

They stood there for a moment. Joe brought his other hand up to Nicky’s wet face. He traced the dark circles there. Nicky looked so tired.

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” Nicky mumbled.

“Stay,” Joe said quietly, taking his hand and not letting go.

They drifted through the apartment to the bedroom. The rain was still tapping lightly against the window as Joe looked around. Not too messy, he thought with relief. Some clothes were scattered about the floor and there was a precarious pile of books on his nightstand but other than that it was fit for a guest. His bed, soft olive linen sheets, a fluffy down duvet, looked incredibly inviting.

“Is that my sweater?” Nicky suddenly asked.

There it was, balled up by Joe’s pillow.

Joe thought about lying. He thought about flinging it into the corner and asking, What sweater? I don’t see a sweater. But he was tired. He was tired of hiding and after Nicky had let himself be seen so raw, so thoroughly exposed, it felt only fair.

He looked at Nicky meaningfully. “Yes.”

Nicky smiled but Joe could see his eyes were becoming misty again.

“No more of that, come on.” Joe got them each some sweatpants and soft old t-shirts. He turned away as Nicky changed, oddly nervous all of the sudden. Joe jumped quickly into the bed and fluffed up the pillows, mushed around the duvet. Nicky followed.

Joe settled quickly while Nicky fidgeted a bit, trying to get comfortable. Finally Joe gently turned him on his side and looped his arms around him. Nicky exhaled and rested an arm atop Joe’s.

“You know,” Nicky whispered, so quiet that Joe might’ve missed it. “Every night, I put on your videos but I just …” Joe could sense a confession coming, the type of honesty that only comes in total darkness, in a shared bed with your eyes shut, when the whole world is asleep. “I would just skip to the end and I would play it over and over again.”

Joe smiled, his heart beating forcefully in his chest as he pulled Nicky closer to him. His lips brushed Nicky’s ear and Nicky shivered.

“Sweet dreams, Nicky. I’ll take care of you. I love you.” Joe whispered, over and over and over again until Nicky was asleep in his arms.

When Joe awoke he was sure it was still nighttime, yesterday’s rain still pattered against the window. And in his arms was a solid, heavy weight. Nicky, his heart. He pulled himself closer, resting his nose along Nicky’s neck. He inhaled softly. And there it was, Nicky’s distinctive smell but deeper, he smelled sweetly of earth, of smoke, and Joe realized with a clench of his heart, of Joe.

Joe nuzzled in deeper, as if he could bury himself in Nicky.

“Mmm,” Nicky hummed. He pulled Joe’s arm tighter across his middle and nestled back into him.

“Do you have anywhere to be this morning?” Joe asked.

Nicky shook his head, “Just here. With you.”

Joe squeezed Nicky tighter and Nicky burrowed backward even closer. It was only then, as the long line of Nicky’s body pressed against him, that Joe realized he was achingly hard.

“Sorry,” he murmured as he awkwardly disentangled their bodies.

“No more apologies,” Nicky said, turning around to face him. His eyes were heavy, full of something Joe hadn’t seen before.

“Are you sure?” Joe asked. ‘There’s no rush. This can wait.” I would wait for you for a thousand years, he thought, I would wait for you forever.

Nicky shook his head. “No more waiting.”

He brought a hand up to Joe’s face and pulled him into a kiss. A morning kiss, full of the stale taste of sleep, but Joe didn’t care. Nicky’s mouth parted and Joe explored him with his tongue. He felt drunk, the way Nicky’s body started to move against him, the breathy noises coming out of his mouth.

Nicky inhaled sharply as Joe’s knee slotted between Nicky’s brushing against his cock with the slightest pressure.

“Okay?” Joe asked, pulling back, holding Nicky’s face in his hands.

Nicky nodded quickly.

Joe turned Nicky’s head to the side and started planting light, gentle kisses down the long vein of his neck. He watched in awe as Nicky’s body reacted to him, he shook and arched and let out the smallest of breathy moans. Joe licked a stripe back up Nicky’s neck, nipping at his earlobe.

Joe inhaled sharply as Nicky’s cold hands found their way under Joe’s soft t-shirt. Nicky traced the divots of his hips, trailed his fingers up across Joe’s stomach, up to his chest.

“Off?” Nicky asked, finding his movements encumbered by the fabric.

Joe was up and flinging his shirt off before Nicky could even finish his request. It ricocheted off a lamp which went crashing to the ground.

Nicky smiled, a bubbling of laughter threatening to escape.

Joe smiled back at him and felt a rush of affection so strong he felt lightheaded. Nicky was here, in his bed, Nicky was here, smiling, in his bed. For a moment, Joe thought it must be a dream, there was no way he was this lucky.

“Come here,” Nicky said softly, dragging him back down.

Joe found himself on his back, legs splayed open, as the solid heavy weight of Nicky rested on top of him. Nicky kissed his eyebrows, his eyes, his nose, each corner of his lips, all the small hidden spots of Joe as if he was charting a topographical map, as if every spot of Joe was special and worthy.

Joe ran his fingers up and down Nicky’s back and arms. He watched as the goosebumps rushed across his skin. He listened as Nicky exhaled loudly in his ear. He wanted Nicky’s shirt off too, he wanted to see that broad expanse of him again.

As if reading his mind, Nicky sat back for a moment and slowly took off his own shirt. He gave Joe a shy smile, as if this were the first time Joe was really seeing him.

Joe sat up quickly to cover him in his arms. “You are so beautiful.”

Nicky smiled and ran his fingers through Joe’s beard. “When you say it like that I almost believe it.”

Joe closed his eyes and nuzzled into Nicky’s neck. “I will tell you every day for the rest of time until you do.”

Joe hugged Nicky tighter and shifted them so Nicky was now lying on his back. Joe, above him, began the excruciatingly slow and lovely work of undoing him.

He kissed his shoulders, his neck, his collarbones, he took each nipple in his mouth, rolling and sucking and nipping until they were rock hard. He traced I love you again and again across his ribs. And again and again Joe returned to kiss Nicky’s lips, to pour and drink every drop of affection there.

Below him, Nicky was lost in sensation. His body shivering with each touch, his throat straining to keep down the mewling and keening that was starting to escape.

“Okay?” Joe asked, checking in again. He had settled himself to Nicky’s side and his palm was resting with heavy even pressure on Nicky’s lower abdomen, where a light trail of hair disappeared below Nicky’s sweatpants.

Nicky nodded, unable to form a coherent word as Joe’s hand dipped below the hem of his underwear and started to palm against Nicky’s already leaking cock.

“Oh god,” Nicky whispered, his hips jutting against Joe. Joe released Nicky for a moment, brought his hand to his lips and spit forcefully. Nicky let out a breathy moan, full of want.

Joe returned to stroking Nicky in earnest and paying careful attention to when a slight angle of the wrist or change in pace caused Nicky to inhale or moan. The soft noises he let out became louder, more urgent as Joe sped up. He could feel Nicky shaking and shuddering beneath him. It wouldn’t be long now.

“Joe, I’m gonna…” Nicky said frantically, his hips stuttering and knees drawing up, Joe holding him and stroking him through it. Joe could see tears beading at the corners of his eyes.

“Go on, I’ve got you,” Joe whispered right into his ear.

And Nicky came with a shout. Joe’s hand was sopping with his release as it pulsed out, hot and fluid, over his fist. Some of it smeared on Nicky’s belly but most was trapped under clothes.

Nicky’s eyes were still screwed shut and his chest was heaving. Joe’s breath matched his.

“Holy shit,” Nicky breathed.

“Good?” Joe smiled, he allowed himself to indulge in a moment of smugness.

Nicky opened his eyes and looked at Joe. If Joe thought he’d seen Nicky relaxed before, this was a whole new level. His eyes were soft, there didn’t seem to be an ounce of tension left in his body. Joe leaned against him and kissed him hard.

Nicky smiled as much as his now-lazy mouth would allow. He looked down to where Joe’s erection was pressed up against his hip.

Nicky lifted his hand but Joe stopped him, entwining their fingers.

“Rest, my heart.”

He brought their hands up to Nicky’s face and he released himself from his sweatpants, positioned himself so that his cock was trapped between their stomachs. A little bit of Nicky’s come eased the way as Joe started rolling his hips slowly against Nicky, chasing the friction there. He cupped Nicky’s jaw and Nicky placed his hand over his. He stared up at him with such naked affection that Joe wondered if it was possible to pass out from being loved too deeply.

Nicky was leaning into his touch, kissing Joe’s palm like it was holy. And then, slowly, he lifted Joe’s hand up, rested it on top of his hair.

Joe froze, his cock twitched at the sudden stop in motion.

“Are you sure?” Joe asked, his fingers completely still. The last thing he wanted to do was confuse Nicky, make him regret a single moment of this, cross another line.

“I…” Nicky paused, he held Joe’s wrist as if it were an anchor. “I want it.” His voice was low and suddenly serious. “I trust you.”

Joe nodded and slowly, carefully, threaded his fingers through the soft hair. Nicky closed his eyes and moaned so deeply Joe could feel it reverberate through his chest, through his abdomen, right against Joe’s cock which was messy and leaking and desperate.

Nicky looked up at him and shot him a lopsided smile.

“Go on,” Nicky urged, tilting up his pelvis a few times to nudge Joe back into motion.

Joe groaned and started fucking into the space between them in earnest. His hand curling and petting through Nicky’s hair with abandon. Nicky let out low hungry moans which Joe leaned down and captured with his mouth.

“Nicky,” Joe gasped as his rhythm became erratic, the pressure building, the drag on his cock on the verge of too much.

Nicky looked up at him, face full of bliss. “Ti amo, ti amo, ti amo,” he whispered over and over again as Joe’s orgasm crashed over him. His hips pushed forcefully once, twice more as his come spread hot and sticky between them.

Neither of them moved for what seemed like forever. They simply stared at each other in loving disbelief. Eventually Joe cleaned them up with a stray t-shirt, Nicky got up to make them coffee. Joe followed and nearly bumped into Nicky who was frozen in the doorway, surveying the damage from the night before.

“What were you even doing in here?” Nicky asked with a smile as started to move through the kitchen, avoiding the mess as he filled up the coffee pot.

“I was making a grand gesture,” Joe said, unsure of even how to pronounce the dish that now seemed like a distant memory.

“So much for that,” Nicky chuckled as he picked a few pieces of charred vegetable matter off the stove.

Joe sidled up behind Nicky, looping his arms around his middle and tucking his head against his neck. “I think it worked out just fine.”

Nicky hummed and leaned back into him. He craned his neck and placed a soft kiss on Joe’s temple.

Joe wondered idly, as they swayed and watched the coffee percolate, if Booker and Nile had put a bet down. He wondered how insufferable Booker would be now that he’d won.

We made it! Thank you being patient while I indulge in some angsty-loving. I have one more ASMR-y part/ happy wrap-up planned for this and then I will clean up and post on Ao3! Your comments really make my day so thank you so much to all of you for reading and commenting :)

😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏 the joy i felt seeing this updating!!! Hnnghh I love everything about this!

❤❤

Oh no a month? I’d be a nervous ball of anxiousness too.

Dying @ Booker being all for Grand Gestures. And Nicky comes right as Joe’s trying his best but it’s a disaster!! 😭

Excited Joe and Nicky are talking things out!

Glad to know Nicky’s backstory too! I wondered if it was because he really enjoys it or it has bad memories. Poor Nicky to be both though. :( Although…. Hopefully Joe helps him make better new memories?? :D

”Fuck that guy for making you feel like you don’t deserve love or affection,”
Same Joe, same!!

Joe sleeping with Nicky’s sweater!! Also, bless Joe for being upfront that it is indeed Nicky’s sweater.

“Sweet dreams, Nicky. I’ll take care of you. I love you.” Joe whispered, over and over and over again until Nicky was asleep in his arms.
SWOON. I am also 100% here for the intimacy of falling asleep next to someone. <3

Nicky kissed his eyebrows, his eyes, his nose, each corner of his lips, all the small hidden spots of Joe as if he was charting a topographical map, as if every spot of Joe was special and worthy.
ajfdklasjfklsj; I am such a sucker for this!! yes, good, amazing

Nicky was leaning into his touch, kissing Joe’s palm like it was holy. And then, slowly, he lifted Joe’s hand up, rested it on top of his hair.
omg this is like when a cat wants you to pet it!

Anyways thank you so much for the update author! This story continues to delight. <33 I will definitely be bookmarking this on ao3!

Oh god, I love this story so much!! I will definitely add it to my bookmarks on ao3!! Good job!!

This is amazing! I'm so excited that this updated, you totally made my day.

Hi everyone! Again, these comments are unbelievably kind. I'm glad you've enjoyed it thus far! Thank you so much!

The validation has just been absolutely mind-boggling.

I've started cleaning it up and posting it on Ao3 here, for your bookmarking pleasure:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27608381/chapters/67542668

(some parts may be combined fyi)

The next few parts should be done and posted by Friday! (Preview: a little role reversal, Joe's in the ASMR hot seat) Thanks again for sticking around <3 <3 <3

omg Joe in the ASMR hot seat!!! very excited! also bookmarked on ao3 too!

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