ALSO HERE: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29503332 ___________
Nile’s first crush had been on Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.
The movie itself had come out before she was born, but her parents had bought as many VHS tapes as they could afford so she, and later her brother, could watch them during Chicago’s cold winters. They’d watched The Lion King constantly, and later added other movies to their repertoire. Nile had loved them all. Her brother had liked most of them, but had found the Hunchback of Notre Dame to be a little too frightening.
Nile had wanted to watch it, but when her brother had started crying their mother had turned it off.
So they’d put on Aladdin instead. They’d watched it too many times to count, but Nile always loved it. She thought the genie was funny, Abu was amusing, and Aladdin was a great hero.
But Jasmine had always been her favourite.
She’d pretended to be her around the house, dressed up as her for Halloween, (which had been difficult to do while wearing a snowsuit, but she had managed) and begged for a Jasmine Barbie for her birthday. Her friends all had favourite princesses of course, but Jasmine was special. Nile thought she was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
“She’s so pretty mama!” she’d insisted when her mother had asked why she loved Jasmine so much.
Her mother had laughed and agreed - Jasmine was pretty after all - but left it at that.
It had never occurred to Nile that there was maybe something more to her adoration of the character, and eventually she’d forgotten about it. She outgrew her dolls, and became obsessed instead with fantasy books. And if she developed a small crush on Hermione Granger, no one needed to know. That was a secret she held close to her chest, and never dared voice out loud.
She had dated a wonderful boy in highschool. He had been a bit of a nerd (she had been as well), but kind, and someone she got along with well. They’d lost their virginities to each other in their senior year, and while Nile had enjoyed herself, she could remember very clearly thinking that something was missing. That something just wasn’t quite right.
They had broken up soon after, though Nile still thought of him fondly, and hoped he was happy with his life. He deserved it.
She’d dated again in University, but never seriously. Her studies had always come first. She was a good student, and enjoyed learning. And while she enjoyed going on dates, enjoyed sex, and enjoyed going out to clubs, there was always something off.
She pushed the feeling to the back of her mind, and learned to ignore it.
She met Dizzy soon after joining the marines, and immediately formed a not-so-little crush on the other woman. She hadn’t thought much of it though. She’d had crushes on women before after all, all through her life. She assumed everyone did.
Her crush on Dizzy only grew.
It wasn’t love, not yet, not really, but Nile knew herself well enough to know it could grow to be love. She felt more at peace with the other woman than she ever had with her highschool boyfriend, or any other boy she’d ever dated.
They experimented once while drinking, making out in a small corner of a bar in some nondescript city. Nile had buried her fingers in the other woman’s hair, breathing in her scent. Heat had pooled in her belly faster than it ever had with men, and Nile had pushed her body close to Dizzy’s, kissing down the long line of her friend's neck, breathing in the scent of her.
Jay had interrupted them, laughing loudly as she’d come back over with drinks, looking over her shoulder at someone. Nile couldn’t remember who.
She and Dizzy had never talked about what they’d done. Nile assumed the other woman had forgotten, given how bad her hangover had been the next morning. But Nile couldn’t forget. She would never forget how right Dizzy’s body had felt pressed up against her, feeling the soft swell of breasts instead of hard muscles, the curve of a woman’s body under her hands.
She’d let it go. She had other things to worry about, like going to Afghanistan.
She’d hugged her mother and brother goodbye without saying anything, as she didn’t really know what to say. She knew that they would accept her no matter what, but she had no idea what she would tell them. She hadn’t really thought of it herself.
So she left it, holding the feeling close to her chest, right under her ribcage.
Then she had died, her throat slashed in a hot room in a small village, with Dizzy’s face in front of her.
She’d thought, for a brief moment before her life had faded, to confess to Dizzy, but couldn’t. Even if her vocal cords had not been severed she wouldn’t be able to form the words. And when she’d woken up the world had been so different, so harsh and cruel, that she hadn’t thought of it again.
She spared Dizzy one last thought when she’d gone to bed in Goussainville, mourning for lost possibilities and missed joy.
________
Her new life was too busy to even think about sex.
They travelled often, moving from place to place easily. Andy sometimes left for weeks on end, leaving her with Joe and Nicky. The men trained her, but also welcomed her kindly, and never made her feel like the ‘newbie’. Even though she was. They told her stories, some so fantastical that she could do little more than laugh, and some so heartfelt she couldn’t help but cry.
But what she loved most about being with Joe and Nicky though wasn’t the stories, or travelling to places she’d only ever dreamt of, or even the knick knacks they had lying around, but how in love they were.
They reminded her of her grandparents in many ways. Two halves of the same soul or some sappy shit like that. It was in everything they did - from how Nicky would pour Joe coffee first, to how Joe looked up whenever Nicky entered a room. Their love was real and palatable, in every nook and cranny of their beings.
Watching them made her feel warm. Their love was the one constant in her new life, and she didn’t think she would ever be tired of seeing them together. It gave her hope that love was real and attainable.
She knew they had not had an easy path to loving one another, but that somehow made it all the more real.
She’d also learned to listen to music as she fell asleep. She loved them both dearly, but they were like her dads at this point, or her much older brothers, and there were some things she just didn’t want to hear. Ever.
Andy returned eventually, tanned and with her hair shorn close to her scalp.
“How’d you like being with these two lovebirds?” she’d teased, eyeing ‘the boys’ with a wide grin, crows feet crinkling happily as she shoved some homemade pastry into her mouth.
Nile had smiled, and told the ancient woman the truth. That she had loved each and every moment. That Joe and Nicky were incredible.
She hadn’t missed the looks of relief Joe and Nicky exchanged, or the way Andy’s shoulders seemed to relax
She vowed never to make Joe or Nicky feel bad about their love. No matter what.
Nile/Dizzy, Nile/OFCs, Exploration of Nile's sexuality 1/4
___________
Nile’s first crush had been on Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.
The movie itself had come out before she was born, but her parents had bought as many VHS tapes as they could afford so she, and later her brother, could watch them during Chicago’s cold winters. They’d watched The Lion King constantly, and later added other movies to their repertoire. Nile had loved them all. Her brother had liked most of them, but had found the Hunchback of Notre Dame to be a little too frightening.
Nile had wanted to watch it, but when her brother had started crying their mother had turned it off.
So they’d put on Aladdin instead. They’d watched it too many times to count, but Nile always loved it. She thought the genie was funny, Abu was amusing, and Aladdin was a great hero.
But Jasmine had always been her favourite.
She’d pretended to be her around the house, dressed up as her for Halloween, (which had been difficult to do while wearing a snowsuit, but she had managed) and begged for a Jasmine Barbie for her birthday. Her friends all had favourite princesses of course, but Jasmine was special. Nile thought she was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
“She’s so pretty mama!” she’d insisted when her mother had asked why she loved Jasmine so much.
Her mother had laughed and agreed - Jasmine was pretty after all - but left it at that.
It had never occurred to Nile that there was maybe something more to her adoration of the character, and eventually she’d forgotten about it. She outgrew her dolls, and became obsessed instead with fantasy books. And if she developed a small crush on Hermione Granger, no one needed to know. That was a secret she held close to her chest, and never dared voice out loud.
She had dated a wonderful boy in highschool. He had been a bit of a nerd (she had been as well), but kind, and someone she got along with well. They’d lost their virginities to each other in their senior year, and while Nile had enjoyed herself, she could remember very clearly thinking that something was missing. That something just wasn’t quite right.
They had broken up soon after, though Nile still thought of him fondly, and hoped he was happy with his life. He deserved it.
She’d dated again in University, but never seriously. Her studies had always come first. She was a good student, and enjoyed learning. And while she enjoyed going on dates, enjoyed sex, and enjoyed going out to clubs, there was always something off.
She pushed the feeling to the back of her mind, and learned to ignore it.
She met Dizzy soon after joining the marines, and immediately formed a not-so-little crush on the other woman. She hadn’t thought much of it though. She’d had crushes on women before after all, all through her life. She assumed everyone did.
Her crush on Dizzy only grew.
It wasn’t love, not yet, not really, but Nile knew herself well enough to know it could grow to be love. She felt more at peace with the other woman than she ever had with her highschool boyfriend, or any other boy she’d ever dated.
They experimented once while drinking, making out in a small corner of a bar in some nondescript city. Nile had buried her fingers in the other woman’s hair, breathing in her scent. Heat had pooled in her belly faster than it ever had with men, and Nile had pushed her body close to Dizzy’s, kissing down the long line of her friend's neck, breathing in the scent of her.
Jay had interrupted them, laughing loudly as she’d come back over with drinks, looking over her shoulder at someone. Nile couldn’t remember who.
She and Dizzy had never talked about what they’d done. Nile assumed the other woman had forgotten, given how bad her hangover had been the next morning. But Nile couldn’t forget. She would never forget how right Dizzy’s body had felt pressed up against her, feeling the soft swell of breasts instead of hard muscles, the curve of a woman’s body under her hands.
She’d let it go. She had other things to worry about, like going to Afghanistan.
She’d hugged her mother and brother goodbye without saying anything, as she didn’t really know what to say. She knew that they would accept her no matter what, but she had no idea what she would tell them. She hadn’t really thought of it herself.
So she left it, holding the feeling close to her chest, right under her ribcage.
Then she had died, her throat slashed in a hot room in a small village, with Dizzy’s face in front of her.
She’d thought, for a brief moment before her life had faded, to confess to Dizzy, but couldn’t. Even if her vocal cords had not been severed she wouldn’t be able to form the words. And when she’d woken up the world had been so different, so harsh and cruel, that she hadn’t thought of it again.
She spared Dizzy one last thought when she’d gone to bed in Goussainville, mourning for lost possibilities and missed joy.
________
Her new life was too busy to even think about sex.
They travelled often, moving from place to place easily. Andy sometimes left for weeks on end, leaving her with Joe and Nicky. The men trained her, but also welcomed her kindly, and never made her feel like the ‘newbie’. Even though she was. They told her stories, some so fantastical that she could do little more than laugh, and some so heartfelt she couldn’t help but cry.
But what she loved most about being with Joe and Nicky though wasn’t the stories, or travelling to places she’d only ever dreamt of, or even the knick knacks they had lying around, but how in love they were.
They reminded her of her grandparents in many ways. Two halves of the same soul or some sappy shit like that. It was in everything they did - from how Nicky would pour Joe coffee first, to how Joe looked up whenever Nicky entered a room. Their love was real and palatable, in every nook and cranny of their beings.
Watching them made her feel warm. Their love was the one constant in her new life, and she didn’t think she would ever be tired of seeing them together. It gave her hope that love was real and attainable.
She knew they had not had an easy path to loving one another, but that somehow made it all the more real.
She’d also learned to listen to music as she fell asleep. She loved them both dearly, but they were like her dads at this point, or her much older brothers, and there were some things she just didn’t want to hear. Ever.
Andy returned eventually, tanned and with her hair shorn close to her scalp.
“How’d you like being with these two lovebirds?” she’d teased, eyeing ‘the boys’ with a wide grin, crows feet crinkling happily as she shoved some homemade pastry into her mouth.
Nile had smiled, and told the ancient woman the truth. That she had loved each and every moment. That Joe and Nicky were incredible.
She hadn’t missed the looks of relief Joe and Nicky exchanged, or the way Andy’s shoulders seemed to relax
She vowed never to make Joe or Nicky feel bad about their love. No matter what.