I've reread this whole thing so far more times than I can count it's just so...so...good. The pining in a sexual relationship just heightens both the emotional stakes and the eroticism insanely. And I really, really adore your characterization, both of Yusuf, who's so kind, so romantic, so easy-going that it's almost like the depth of his feelings keeps surprising him. But also Nicky, who absolutely knows what he's doing all of the time and keeps breaking his own rules because he just can't help himself...this whole story is amazing