OP here - sorry it took me so long to reply, I needed some time to do it properly.
For what's worth, I thought the body horror wasn't bad, and I'm squeamish as Hell.
Oh. My. God. This chapter killed me. Caused me to spontaneously combust.
> “We are fallible creatures,” he sighs, earning a strange look from a donkey. “We know ourselves to be fallible, and so we watch ourselves fail and say, ‘Ah, yes, how ridiculous human nature,’ and we do it again.”
I loved this sentence. Loved Yusuf talking to the donkey and getting caught, it was so fun!
Great use of accidents - another thing that must have happened a lot to the Guard.
The way you wrote Yusuf was just... amazing. So many complex feelings, the way he's caught between what he feels, what he ought to feel and how to act, his very real worry about Nicolò, the fact that he's stressing over Nicolò possibly not healing, the way he compartimentalizes his feelings and stubbornly refuses to figure out what all those signals means... it was all amazing, plus the contrast between Nicolò who is "eh, sucks, but could have been worse" and Yusuf completely spiralling!
Also, Yusuf unintentionally driving Nicolò crazy just by touching him and kissing him? (I did love his attempt to rules-lawyer it but that's kissing, that's absolutely what you are doing, Yusuf.) Wow. I have no words.
Also, Nicolò being desperate to be touched but unable to ask for it? *chef's kiss* Nicolò blowing Yusuf? Forget running down a hill, Nicolò went and jumped down a freaking ravine here! I love that it's not a perfectly linear progression, it feels so natural.
Hottest thing ever. Hit me like a ton of bricks.
> “But I am not,” Nicolò say[...] “going to let you fuck me.”
Why do I have a feeling Lazzaro is responsible for this one last line in the sand? I definitely noticed that says nothing about fucking Yusuf...
I loved learning more about Nicolò's past, the way they talk and howthey actually dig themselves deeper in a way that totally makes sense.
This was absolutely beautiful. Amazing. Stupendous. Wonderful. I may need a thesaurus because I feel I'm not praising it enough. You are so talented!
Re: Give An Inch (Fall A Mile): Joe/Nicky, Moving Goalposts PART SEVEN LINK
For what's worth, I thought the body horror wasn't bad, and I'm squeamish as Hell.
Oh. My. God. This chapter killed me. Caused me to spontaneously combust.
> “We are fallible creatures,” he sighs, earning a strange look from a donkey. “We know ourselves to be fallible, and so we watch ourselves fail and say, ‘Ah, yes, how ridiculous human nature,’ and we do it again.”
I loved this sentence. Loved Yusuf talking to the donkey and getting caught, it was so fun!
Great use of accidents - another thing that must have happened a lot to the Guard.
The way you wrote Yusuf was just... amazing. So many complex feelings, the way he's caught between what he feels, what he ought to feel and how to act, his very real worry about Nicolò, the fact that he's stressing over Nicolò possibly not healing, the way he compartimentalizes his feelings and stubbornly refuses to figure out what all those signals means... it was all amazing, plus the contrast between Nicolò who is "eh, sucks, but could have been worse" and Yusuf completely spiralling!
Also, Yusuf unintentionally driving Nicolò crazy just by touching him and kissing him? (I did love his attempt to rules-lawyer it but that's kissing, that's absolutely what you are doing, Yusuf.) Wow. I have no words.
Also, Nicolò being desperate to be touched but unable to ask for it? *chef's kiss*
Nicolò blowing Yusuf? Forget running down a hill, Nicolò went and jumped down a freaking ravine here! I love that it's not a perfectly linear progression, it feels so natural.
Hottest thing ever. Hit me like a ton of bricks.
> “But I am not,” Nicolò say[...] “going to let you fuck me.”
Why do I have a feeling Lazzaro is responsible for this one last line in the sand?
I definitely noticed that says nothing about fucking Yusuf...
I loved learning more about Nicolò's past, the way they talk and howthey actually dig themselves deeper in a way that totally makes sense.
This was absolutely beautiful. Amazing. Stupendous. Wonderful. I may need a thesaurus because I feel I'm not praising it enough. You are so talented!