On the first semi-warm day of the year, they picnic in Central Park. While the whole affair was Joe’s idea, ensuring they had edible food fell to Nicky.
It’s a little absurd, to wear a parka and shiver on the ground while eating charcuterie, but Joe keeps him close and kisses his cold lips so Nicky bears it with dignity.
“Well, the good news is we have the park to ourselves,” he says, trying not to laugh.
Joe grins. “Exactly. You gotta beat the crowds. Get a more intimate setting.”
“If you’re implying you want to fuck out here, that will be a no from me.”
“Come on, baby, haven’t you heard about huddling for warmth? One coat under us, one coat over us.”
“And if I get frostbite on my cock?”
“I’ll suck it off.”
Nicky wrinkles his nose. “That’s not how that works.”
Joe laughs and kisses him again. Nicky snakes a cold hand under his collar and Joe pulls away with a squeak.
“I actually do love this time of year,” Joe says after they finish laughing.
Nicky looks around at all the dead trees and clumps of dirty, half-melted snow. “Why?”
“It’s the dark before the dawn. Everyone’s so sad and sick of winter but spring is right around the corner. It’s like the last mile of a marathon. You made it this far and you’re almost to the good part.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
Joe smiles, eyes crinkling, and pushes himself to his feet. “All right, let’s go before your heart gets any colder, ice king.” He holds out his hand.
Laughing, Nicky takes it.
They warm up together in the shower when they get home, then Joe ties Nicky’s wrists to a chair and comes on his face before teasing him with his mouth.
Joe’s tongue is the only thing he can focus on until he finally comes, at which point the thought he’s been actively repressing all day will no longer be ignored.
Spring is almost here. Spring means the end of the school year. The end of the school year means the end of Joe. Because Joe is not his boyfriend, he’s his benefactor. They have a business relationship, not a romance.
He screws his eyes shut while Joe wipes off his face.
“Nicky? You all right?”
“Just some come in my eye,” he manages.
“Shit, I’m sorry, baby. You should have told me.”
“It’s okay, it, ah, it wasn’t bothering me before.” He collects himself and opens his eyes to see Joe standing over him, face full of concern.
There’s no longer any point in denying it, he thinks helplessly. He’s in love with this man.
———
Nicky’s finished the bulk of his thesis, but midterms have him in a foul mood, so Joe suggests a game to distract him. Every morning he fucks Nicky, then plugs him before sending him off to teach his class, still half-hard with Joe’s come held inside him.
By Friday morning, Nicky is wild-eyed and desperate.
“Joe, please. I can’t do another day,” he cries as Joe presses the plug in.
Joe kisses his cheek. “Yes you can, baby. You’re so close. Think how good it’ll feel tonight.”
Nicky pulls at his own hair. “Please, daddy.”
He looks so wrecked that Joe is tempted to give him what he’s asking for. “You know the rules, Nicky,” he reminds him.
Nicky sobs, but he still hasn’t used their safeword.
“Come on,” Joe says, “you’ll be late.” He helps Nicky off the bed and into his clothes. Nicky is pliant, but he looks at Joe like he wants to scratch his eyes out.
“Six hours,” Joe tells him, and sends him on his way.
He’s distracted all day. He can’t stop thinking about Nicky—how hot he was when he was begging, how angry he looked when Joe denied him. The thought that Nicky might actually be mad at him is unbearable.
He bolts up from the couch when he hears the door open. “Hey,” he says.
Nicky kicks off his shoes and heads to the kitchen without acknowledging him.
Joe corners him against the refrigerator. “Hey,” he repeats, this time more urgently.
Nicky’s jaw clenches. He won’t meet Joe’s eyes.
“What’s wrong? Are you just worked up?” He rubs at Nicky’s arm, but Nicky pulls out of his grasp and stalks into the living room, putting the couch between them.
“Nicky, come on, you can’t give me the silent treatment right now. Are you pissed about this morning, or did something happen?”
Nicky crosses his arms and looks away.
Joe’s at a loss. He doesn’t know what Nicky wants. Unless—unless he does.
“Or,” he says slowly, “are you just acting out?”
Nicky makes a pained noise then.
Slowly, Joe moves around the couch and takes Nicky’s wrists. “Look at me.”
Nicky does. His pupils are like black holes, but the set of his jaw is still defiant.
“I’m going to take you to bed and teach you a lesson. And if you’re good, then you’ll get to come.”
He gives Nicky’s wrists a quick squeeze—not to hurt, just to get his attention. “Okay?” he presses.
“Fine,” Nicky huffs, and Joe supposes that will have to do.
In the bedroom, Joe strips Nicky and bends him over the bed. He takes off his own belt and folds it in half.
He gives Nicky’s plug a tap. Nicky squeals.
“You’re getting five,” Joe tells him. “I want to hear you apologize after each one.”
He doesn’t wait for confirmation, just gives Nicky his first hit and relishes the way he twitches. He’s afraid Nicky’s going to keep disobeying, but then:
“I’m sorry.” It’s quiet, but it’ll do.
“Good.” Another smack.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, baby.” Again.
Nicky’s shaking a little and his breath is coming in shallow pants. “I’m sorry, Joe.”
“I know you are. You’re doing so good. Just two more. You can do two more, right?”
Nicky nods. “Yes.”
He lands another hit. Nicky claws at the sheets.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Last one,” Joe says, and gives it to him.
“I’m sorry, daddy,” Nicky says, voice thick.
“Shhh, it’s okay, baby.” Joe lets the belt fall to the floor and helps Nicky crawl up on the bed. He cups Nicky’s face to kiss him. “I’m gonna make you feel so good now, okay?”
“Please, please, please,” Nicky slurs. His eyes are glassy.
Joe works the plug out, careful not to tease him. He lubes up his cock and fingers some into Nicky as well, since his come’s mostly dried and tacky.
He slides in and wastes no time finding Nicky’s prostate. He hits it with every thrust, determined to make this perfect for Nicky, who is moaning and mumbling nonsense into the bed.
He shouts when Joe gets a hand around his cock.
“Joe, Joe, Joe.” Nicky writhes like he’s gone feral. It’s fucking hot. Joe’s grateful for the consistent orgasms he’s been having, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to make this last.
“You’re always so good, Nicky, fuck, so good for me.”
Nicky chokes out a sob as he thrashes. “Joe…”
He’s wriggling so furiously that Joe has to tighten his grip. He wraps an arm around Nicky’s chest, holding him close. It has the added benefit of deepening the angle.
Nicky cries out again.
“You’re perfect, baby,” Joe tells him, and fucks him harder, still tugging at his cock. He’s a little surprised Nicky’s lasted this long, but maybe this was just an extension of his funky mood—
“Baklava,” Nicky gasps. “Baklava—”
It’s like Joe’s brain short circuits. Does not compute. He’s frozen for a moment, and then he gets his shit together.
“Okay, okay, Nicky, I’m gonna pull out—” And he does, as quickly and carefully as he can manage.
His instinct is to touch, but he takes a step back from the bed.
Nicky’s still facedown, ass up. He’s trembling. His hole is puffy and red, something Joe usually finds unbearably hot, but now it just makes him feel like a monster.
“Nicky,” he says helplessly.
Slowly, Nicky pushes himself to sit up on the bed. His face is pale, not flushed like Joe expected. His eyes are shining but not red like Joe had feared. He looks as confused as Joe feels.
“Can—can I get you anything?”
Nicky shakes his head.
“Can…can I touch you?”
“I…yes, okay.”
Joe wants to gather him in his arms and hold him all night, but Nicky hadn’t sounded especially enthused at the idea of Joe touching him. So he settles for sitting next to Nicky and rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry,” Nicky says suddenly, not looking at him.
“What? Nicky, no, don’t be sorry. I don’t—I don’t know what happened, but you don’t need to apologize for wanting to stop.”
Nicky nods once.
“Nicky, can you…can you tell me what happened? What I did?” He swallows. “I don’t want to hurt you, or do anything you don’t like.”
Nicky remains quiet.
“Please?” Joe asks, voice small.
Finally Nicky turns to meet his eyes, just for a brief moment before he looks back down. “I don’t really feel like talking about it tonight,” he says finally.
“Nicky, we have to—”
“I know,” Nicky says, a little more firmly. “We will. I promise. Just, tomorrow, okay?”
No, Joe thinks. Absolutely not.
“Okay,” he says.
Nicky stands up. “I think I’m going to sleep in my room tonight.”
Joe wants to scream. Nicky has yet to actually use his bedroom for anything but storage and studying. They even slept together the week Joe had a cold.
“Okay,” he says again, forcing a smile. “Night.”
“Night,” Nicky says, and leaves.
Joe buries his head in his pillow and cries.
———
Nicky lays awake all night in the unfamiliar bed, amazed at how badly he’s managed to fuck things up.
He has no choice. He’s going to have to leave.
Because if he stays, he’ll owe Joe an answer as to what happened. And he can’t think of anything to tell him but the truth, which is “I safeworded because I’m madly in love with you, and you were fucking me so good and the thought that I couldn’t have this forever destroyed me.”
He feels sick to his stomach. He’d pack up his things, but half of them are scattered around other parts of the house. He’ll have to do that after they have their messy pseudo-breakup.
He stares at the ceiling until he hears Joe moving around. Nicky finds him in the kitchen, the coffee already started.
Joe’s smile is strained. “Hey, morning.”
Nicky is going to throw up. “Hi,” he manages.
Joe pours a cup of coffee and tries to hand it to him. Nicky’s paralyzed.
“I’m leaving,” he blurts.
Joe stares, mug still outstretched.
“I know we—we had an agreement,” Nicky plows on. “But. I need to terminate it.”
Joe sets the mug on the counter and frowns at him. “I don’t understand,” he says finally.
Nicky’s heart is in his chest. “I want out.”
Now Joe’s eyes are wide, sad and hurt. Nicky hasn’t felt this way since he came out to his parents.
“You want to…to end this early?” Joe asks.
Nick nods.
“Why?”
Because it’s not working, Nicky thinks. Because I need to move on. Because you deserve better.
“Because I don’t want to end this at all,” he says.
Joe looks more shocked than ever. Nicky closes his eyes.
“Nicky,” Joe says after a long moment. “Nicky. Look at me, please.”
He does. Joe’s eyes are shining.
“I love you,” Joe says. “You’re the smartest, funniest, sexiest, most interesting person I’ve ever met. I think I’ve felt it since our first date. I’ve known it since my opening. I’ll pay for you to get twenty doctoral degrees and we can call it whatever you want, but Nicky, I want to be your everything.”
Nicky is speechless, so he kisses him. He fists one hand in Joe’s shirt and the other in his curls and puts everything into the kiss to keep himself from crying.
“I love you, too,” he says when they break apart. “You are my everything.”
Joe smiles and it’s like sunlight. Then his face turns serious as he asks, “Is this what last was about?”
Nicky shuts his eyes and nods, sighing. “Yes. I, it was so good, and I started thinking about how soon I wouldn’t have it—wouldn’t have you—anymore, and I spiraled.”
“You’ll always have me,” Joe tells him. “As long as you want.” He nuzzles Nicky’s nose.
Nicky’s too relieved to stop himself from teasing. “Even when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”
Joe laughs and grabs his ass. “You’ll always be beautiful to me, baby.”
Re: FILL: Joe/Nicky, SugarDaddyDom!Joe and subsugarbaby!Nicky 5/5
_________________________________________________________________________________
On the first semi-warm day of the year, they picnic in Central Park. While the whole affair was Joe’s idea, ensuring they had edible food fell to Nicky.
It’s a little absurd, to wear a parka and shiver on the ground while eating charcuterie, but Joe keeps him close and kisses his cold lips so Nicky bears it with dignity.
“Well, the good news is we have the park to ourselves,” he says, trying not to laugh.
Joe grins. “Exactly. You gotta beat the crowds. Get a more intimate setting.”
“If you’re implying you want to fuck out here, that will be a no from me.”
“Come on, baby, haven’t you heard about huddling for warmth? One coat under us, one coat over us.”
“And if I get frostbite on my cock?”
“I’ll suck it off.”
Nicky wrinkles his nose. “That’s not how that works.”
Joe laughs and kisses him again. Nicky snakes a cold hand under his collar and Joe pulls away with a squeak.
“I actually do love this time of year,” Joe says after they finish laughing.
Nicky looks around at all the dead trees and clumps of dirty, half-melted snow. “Why?”
“It’s the dark before the dawn. Everyone’s so sad and sick of winter but spring is right around the corner. It’s like the last mile of a marathon. You made it this far and you’re almost to the good part.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
Joe smiles, eyes crinkling, and pushes himself to his feet. “All right, let’s go before your heart gets any colder, ice king.” He holds out his hand.
Laughing, Nicky takes it.
They warm up together in the shower when they get home, then Joe ties Nicky’s wrists to a chair and comes on his face before teasing him with his mouth.
Joe’s tongue is the only thing he can focus on until he finally comes, at which point the thought he’s been actively repressing all day will no longer be ignored.
Spring is almost here. Spring means the end of the school year. The end of the school year means the end of Joe. Because Joe is not his boyfriend, he’s his benefactor. They have a business relationship, not a romance.
He screws his eyes shut while Joe wipes off his face.
“Nicky? You all right?”
“Just some come in my eye,” he manages.
“Shit, I’m sorry, baby. You should have told me.”
“It’s okay, it, ah, it wasn’t bothering me before.” He collects himself and opens his eyes to see Joe standing over him, face full of concern.
There’s no longer any point in denying it, he thinks helplessly. He’s in love with this man.
———
Nicky’s finished the bulk of his thesis, but midterms have him in a foul mood, so Joe suggests a game to distract him. Every morning he fucks Nicky, then plugs him before sending him off to teach his class, still half-hard with Joe’s come held inside him.
By Friday morning, Nicky is wild-eyed and desperate.
“Joe, please. I can’t do another day,” he cries as Joe presses the plug in.
Joe kisses his cheek. “Yes you can, baby. You’re so close. Think how good it’ll feel tonight.”
Nicky pulls at his own hair. “Please, daddy.”
He looks so wrecked that Joe is tempted to give him what he’s asking for. “You know the rules, Nicky,” he reminds him.
Nicky sobs, but he still hasn’t used their safeword.
“Come on,” Joe says, “you’ll be late.” He helps Nicky off the bed and into his clothes. Nicky is pliant, but he looks at Joe like he wants to scratch his eyes out.
“Six hours,” Joe tells him, and sends him on his way.
He’s distracted all day. He can’t stop thinking about Nicky—how hot he was when he was begging, how angry he looked when Joe denied him. The thought that Nicky might actually be mad at him is unbearable.
He bolts up from the couch when he hears the door open. “Hey,” he says.
Nicky kicks off his shoes and heads to the kitchen without acknowledging him.
Joe corners him against the refrigerator. “Hey,” he repeats, this time more urgently.
Nicky’s jaw clenches. He won’t meet Joe’s eyes.
“What’s wrong? Are you just worked up?” He rubs at Nicky’s arm, but Nicky pulls out of his grasp and stalks into the living room, putting the couch between them.
“Nicky, come on, you can’t give me the silent treatment right now. Are you pissed about this morning, or did something happen?”
Nicky crosses his arms and looks away.
Joe’s at a loss. He doesn’t know what Nicky wants. Unless—unless he does.
“Or,” he says slowly, “are you just acting out?”
Nicky makes a pained noise then.
Slowly, Joe moves around the couch and takes Nicky’s wrists. “Look at me.”
Nicky does. His pupils are like black holes, but the set of his jaw is still defiant.
“I’m going to take you to bed and teach you a lesson. And if you’re good, then you’ll get to come.”
He gives Nicky’s wrists a quick squeeze—not to hurt, just to get his attention. “Okay?” he presses.
“Fine,” Nicky huffs, and Joe supposes that will have to do.
In the bedroom, Joe strips Nicky and bends him over the bed. He takes off his own belt and folds it in half.
He gives Nicky’s plug a tap. Nicky squeals.
“You’re getting five,” Joe tells him. “I want to hear you apologize after each one.”
He doesn’t wait for confirmation, just gives Nicky his first hit and relishes the way he twitches. He’s afraid Nicky’s going to keep disobeying, but then:
“I’m sorry.” It’s quiet, but it’ll do.
“Good.” Another smack.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, baby.” Again.
Nicky’s shaking a little and his breath is coming in shallow pants. “I’m sorry, Joe.”
“I know you are. You’re doing so good. Just two more. You can do two more, right?”
Nicky nods. “Yes.”
He lands another hit. Nicky claws at the sheets.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Last one,” Joe says, and gives it to him.
“I’m sorry, daddy,” Nicky says, voice thick.
“Shhh, it’s okay, baby.” Joe lets the belt fall to the floor and helps Nicky crawl up on the bed. He cups Nicky’s face to kiss him. “I’m gonna make you feel so good now, okay?”
“Please, please, please,” Nicky slurs. His eyes are glassy.
Joe works the plug out, careful not to tease him. He lubes up his cock and fingers some into Nicky as well, since his come’s mostly dried and tacky.
He slides in and wastes no time finding Nicky’s prostate. He hits it with every thrust, determined to make this perfect for Nicky, who is moaning and mumbling nonsense into the bed.
He shouts when Joe gets a hand around his cock.
“Joe, Joe, Joe.” Nicky writhes like he’s gone feral. It’s fucking hot. Joe’s grateful for the consistent orgasms he’s been having, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to make this last.
“You’re always so good, Nicky, fuck, so good for me.”
Nicky chokes out a sob as he thrashes. “Joe…”
He’s wriggling so furiously that Joe has to tighten his grip. He wraps an arm around Nicky’s chest, holding him close. It has the added benefit of deepening the angle.
Nicky cries out again.
“You’re perfect, baby,” Joe tells him, and fucks him harder, still tugging at his cock. He’s a little surprised Nicky’s lasted this long, but maybe this was just an extension of his funky mood—
“Baklava,” Nicky gasps. “Baklava—”
It’s like Joe’s brain short circuits. Does not compute. He’s frozen for a moment, and then he gets his shit together.
“Okay, okay, Nicky, I’m gonna pull out—” And he does, as quickly and carefully as he can manage.
His instinct is to touch, but he takes a step back from the bed.
Nicky’s still facedown, ass up. He’s trembling. His hole is puffy and red, something Joe usually finds unbearably hot, but now it just makes him feel like a monster.
“Nicky,” he says helplessly.
Slowly, Nicky pushes himself to sit up on the bed. His face is pale, not flushed like Joe expected. His eyes are shining but not red like Joe had feared. He looks as confused as Joe feels.
“Can—can I get you anything?”
Nicky shakes his head.
“Can…can I touch you?”
“I…yes, okay.”
Joe wants to gather him in his arms and hold him all night, but Nicky hadn’t sounded especially enthused at the idea of Joe touching him. So he settles for sitting next to Nicky and rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry,” Nicky says suddenly, not looking at him.
“What? Nicky, no, don’t be sorry. I don’t—I don’t know what happened, but you don’t need to apologize for wanting to stop.”
Nicky nods once.
“Nicky, can you…can you tell me what happened? What I did?” He swallows. “I don’t want to hurt you, or do anything you don’t like.”
Nicky remains quiet.
“Please?” Joe asks, voice small.
Finally Nicky turns to meet his eyes, just for a brief moment before he looks back down. “I don’t really feel like talking about it tonight,” he says finally.
“Nicky, we have to—”
“I know,” Nicky says, a little more firmly. “We will. I promise. Just, tomorrow, okay?”
No, Joe thinks. Absolutely not.
“Okay,” he says.
Nicky stands up. “I think I’m going to sleep in my room tonight.”
Joe wants to scream. Nicky has yet to actually use his bedroom for anything but storage and studying. They even slept together the week Joe had a cold.
“Okay,” he says again, forcing a smile. “Night.”
“Night,” Nicky says, and leaves.
Joe buries his head in his pillow and cries.
———
Nicky lays awake all night in the unfamiliar bed, amazed at how badly he’s managed to fuck things up.
He has no choice. He’s going to have to leave.
Because if he stays, he’ll owe Joe an answer as to what happened. And he can’t think of anything to tell him but the truth, which is “I safeworded because I’m madly in love with you, and you were fucking me so good and the thought that I couldn’t have this forever destroyed me.”
He feels sick to his stomach. He’d pack up his things, but half of them are scattered around other parts of the house. He’ll have to do that after they have their messy pseudo-breakup.
He stares at the ceiling until he hears Joe moving around. Nicky finds him in the kitchen, the coffee already started.
Joe’s smile is strained. “Hey, morning.”
Nicky is going to throw up. “Hi,” he manages.
Joe pours a cup of coffee and tries to hand it to him. Nicky’s paralyzed.
“I’m leaving,” he blurts.
Joe stares, mug still outstretched.
“I know we—we had an agreement,” Nicky plows on. “But. I need to terminate it.”
Joe sets the mug on the counter and frowns at him. “I don’t understand,” he says finally.
Nicky’s heart is in his chest. “I want out.”
Now Joe’s eyes are wide, sad and hurt. Nicky hasn’t felt this way since he came out to his parents.
“You want to…to end this early?” Joe asks.
Nick nods.
“Why?”
Because it’s not working, Nicky thinks. Because I need to move on. Because you deserve better.
“Because I don’t want to end this at all,” he says.
Joe looks more shocked than ever. Nicky closes his eyes.
“Nicky,” Joe says after a long moment. “Nicky. Look at me, please.”
He does. Joe’s eyes are shining.
“I love you,” Joe says. “You’re the smartest, funniest, sexiest, most interesting person I’ve ever met. I think I’ve felt it since our first date. I’ve known it since my opening. I’ll pay for you to get twenty doctoral degrees and we can call it whatever you want, but Nicky, I want to be your everything.”
Nicky is speechless, so he kisses him. He fists one hand in Joe’s shirt and the other in his curls and puts everything into the kiss to keep himself from crying.
“I love you, too,” he says when they break apart. “You are my everything.”
Joe smiles and it’s like sunlight. Then his face turns serious as he asks, “Is this what last was about?”
Nicky shuts his eyes and nods, sighing. “Yes. I, it was so good, and I started thinking about how soon I wouldn’t have it—wouldn’t have you—anymore, and I spiraled.”
“You’ll always have me,” Joe tells him. “As long as you want.” He nuzzles Nicky’s nose.
Nicky’s too relieved to stop himself from teasing. “Even when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”
Joe laughs and grabs his ass. “You’ll always be beautiful to me, baby.”
He winks, and Nicky kisses him again.