Nicolo for some reason being absolutely sure he is only a burden to Yusuf keeps trying to find a way to die permanently so that Yusuf can be rid of him. He tries to get decapitated, he hangs himself, he tries to drown himself and many other things without making it too obvious to Yusuf what he is doing. He tried leaving and going off on his own but was unable to because Yusuf seems to feel their inability to die means they must stay together for some greater purpose. And also leaving Yusuf hurt more than any death Nicolo has died so far. Eventually Yusuf finds out and is furious and heartbroken over what Nicolo, the man he loves, has been doing to himself.